


poison and wine

by eternal (claudius)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, Other, i'm gonna die tonight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 00:27:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8599834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/claudius/pseuds/eternal
Summary: like thorns wrapped around your heart.





	

They don't know what was happening to them.

Staring in absolute horror at the chrysanthemum petals in their hand, with a sharp stabbing feeling in their throat. They couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, feeling trapped as the tightness in their chest got more and more worse. 

Desole remembered how their hands shook, how their stomach was in knots at the sight of seeing him close to someone else. How they looked like a perfect match. Seeing him look at someone else made them feel so  _sick_. ( _please look at me like that_ ) Seeing someone being able to smile at him, being able to talk without being afraid of saying something wrong, someone who was  _better_ than them. They hated it, they hated it so much. 

But they hid that pain, continuously. They acted as if nothing was wrong. Even if the sight of him being near  _that person_ made them feel so anxious.

They started coughing violently again, and their twin sibling rushed to their side but Desole could only push them away, insisting they were fine with a wave of their hand. A handful of purple hyacinths. The scratching in their throat never stopped, nor did the flowers that cursed them. They refused to eat because of this, not wanting to throw up both petals and food, they pushed people away, in fear of their reactions should they cough up petals at any moment. But being alone did nothing but bring the worst of thoughts to their mind, thinking of  _him_ , how happy he probably is with  _that person_. ( _i want to be happy with you too)_

Marigolds and roses made a mess on the floor, and they felt tears welling up in their eyes as they began to curl into themself. How horrid they felt, cursing someone for being happy, how dare they? It was selfish, they were selfish. 

( _i don't deserve to be happy with you)_

Their siblings were worried when Desole completely hid themself in their room, never coming out or answering to the knocks on the door. They couldn't do it, couldn't let their family see the mess they've become. Heaving into a small trash can, all that came out were carnations stained with blood, and they let out a choked sob when they forced themself to climb back into bed and hide under the covers, praying that this all was just a long, long nightmare that would soon end.

But when they coughed up daffodils the next day, they knew that it'd never end. Not until they died ~~(or killed their feelings)~~.

It was after a week did someone finally force their way into Desole's room, their twin sibling only stared in shock at the petals that were covering their bed and the floor. She was careful to make their way to Desole, and careful to not touch the petals on their bed in fear that she'd soon contract the disease as well. (though desole knew she needn't be careful, fae loved and people loved back.) Her concern could barely reach Desole's ears, as they sunk further into the pillows and blankets, refusing to wake up completely, refusing to accept this as a reality. 

They wanted to blame him for this. Wanted to curse him for bringing these feelings onto them, it was his fault, they wanted to cry. They wanted to cry for a billion reasons, but they were so tired, just so tired.

They begged for Fae to make up an excuse for them to be so isolated, pleaded for her to insist they were fine. As much as she wanted to refuse, the desperation on their face compelled her to agree, much to her own disappointment. Though Fae stayed with them for a while, helping them whenever they began to throw up petals again, before leaving the room and telling the rest of the family that they weren't feeling very energized lately. All of Desole felt awful, their stomach was so empty from not eating, and heaving flowers every minute didn't help. 

No matter what they tried to think of, their mind always went back to  _that person_ , oh, how they wanted to be special like  _that person_ was. They wanted him to look at them like that, they wanted to be important to him. They felt their chest tighten up and the tears they had kept in for so long finally spilled over, it was so disgusting, to be so desperate to be loved. To be so desperate that they'd curse someone else's happiness just for their own. They were horrible, and the proof was in every cough and the stabbing in their throat. 

Even when they had finally left their room, once forcing themself to choke back flowers whenever the urge had risen, they still felt out of it. Though they faked it and forced a smile whenever someone asked if they were alright, saying it was just a bad week for them. Desole pushed themself to act natural, excusing themself whenever it became too much. Throwing up forget-me-nots in the bathroom and feeling the taste of their own blood. ( _disgusting._ ) People still worried, whenever they disappeared or quickly made an excuse as to why they couldn't leave the house. But they continued to (lie) say that they were fine.

They make sure to clean up before leaving the bathroom, only to stop dead in their tracks when seeing him standing at the front door.

They're stiff as a board when he says he noticed how they haven't been coming to school and ask if everything is okay, the feeling of petals forcing their way up their throat, their chest tightening alongside it. He looks on curiously, worriedly, and Desole chokes back petals to say that they were just not feeling well and things will be fine soon. His soft smile when he nods doesn't give them butterflies like it used to, just a twisting feeling in their stomach, and they're almost close to throwing up right there and then. He doesn't stay for long, and Desole is quick to rush back to their room while ignoring the concerned calls from their family.

Desole heaves, and bloodied petals scatter across the floor. All they can do is hope their feelings die before they do.

**Author's Note:**

> jesus christ who allowed me to write ever bye  
> edit: JESUS why did i tag this as graphic violence lol bye


End file.
